21 July 2009

Translation Exercise: "God Hates Japan" (4)

I think this is it. Next time I'll go back to posting real content. Honest.

Original Japanese translation

十分にいいところだった。だって、埼玉はコンゴじゃないんだろう。彼女たちが、そんな世界とそこに暮らす人々を見捨てたことはあまりに屈辱的だった。親友のテツもまた、信じられないといった様子で、モルモン教徒について聞いた話を教えてくれた。なんて呼べばいいのか分からないが、その教区司祭か神父かが、ひと月に1回、少年たちを一室に集めて、マスターベーションの罪悪について説いたことを。全員に特殊な透明インクのペンと紙を渡し、前の月にマスターベーションした回数分だけ、コイン大の印を付けさせた。それから紙を全て回収し、壁に画鋲で留めてから明かりを消すと、部屋にたくさんの星が現れた。それは実際、とても美しそうだった。とにかく、司祭はそれを「罪の世界」とかそんな名前で呼び、翌月の若いモルモン教徒たちの使命は、その星を全て消していくこととなった。

突然、僕とテツは、これの彼女の子バージョンがどんなものなのかは、ただ想像するしかなかった。

04

えっ、僕かい?僕は一九七五年東京の少し北で生まれた。たった一人のきょうだいは、一九七〇年生まれの姉のマリコだったが、彼女の感受性が僕とあまりにかけ離れていたため、それこそ一九五五年に生まれたんじゃないかと思えたほどだ。

自分はどういう人間と思うかを、彼女に聞いてみれば、ひとこと目からたぶん、バーバリーの全商品を所有していることを自ら話し始めるだろう。もしバーバリーがタンポンを作っていたら、マリコなら絶対に買ってるはずだ。彼女が若い時に最も熱中していたのは、八〇年代のデュラン・デュランをパックた安っぽい外国人バンドだった。未だに彼女は、月曜毎に原宿へ出かけており、体育館の外でロカビリーの衣装を着て踊っていた時代のことをよく覚えている。なんて恥ずかしいなんだろう。本当に最悪だ。僕ら姉弟の最大のケンカは、僕がフェルトペンで、彼女が大切にしていた一九八二年から一九八六年のミュージック・ライブの表紙に、オッパイや牙を描き込んだ後に起きた。

My translation back into English

It was a perfectly good place. After all, Saitama isn't exactly the Congo, right? Those girls who abandoned the world and all those that live there were extremely demeaning. My best friend Tetsu also, in a state of disbelief, told me what he heard about Mormons. I don't know what to call it, but the parish priest or the father gathers all the kids together in one room one time per month and preaches on the sin of masturbation. He gave everyone some paper and a pen with special transparent ink and makes them mark down the number of times they masturbated in a month. After that, he collected all the paper and after tacking them to the wall, he cut the lights and in the room the stars appeared. That actually must have been beautiful. Anyway, the priest called that "the world of sin" or something, and gave the young Mormons the mission for the next month of extinguishing all stars.

Suddenly, Tetsu and I could only imagine while child-versions of these girls were like.

Chapter 4

Huh? Me? I was born in 1975 a little north of Tokyo. My only sibling, Mariko, was born in 1970 but because her sensibilities are completely different from mine, I could almost think she was born in 1955.

If you ask her what kind of person she is, probably in a word, she would first say she was the owner of all of Burberry's merchandise. Supposing Burberry made tampons, Mariko would definitely be buying them. When she was young, what she was most crazy about was the cheap foreign band Duran Duran. Still, she often thinks of the days when every Friday she'd go down to Harajuku and dance outside of the gym in rockabilly clothing. How embarrassing. Really the worst. The biggest fight we had as siblings happened after I drew tits and fangs on the cover of her precious concert calender from 1982 to 1986.

Thoughts

Exhausted. I'm not sure-- I actually have no idea who or what a Burberry is. Also, it took me forever to realize that 原宿 is "Harajuku", despite being plastered on Gwen Stefani-themed perfume bottles everywhere.


Also one of those annoying instances with those mutant words where the first kanji is the Japanese-reading and the second is the Chinese-reading, for you linguistics nerds out there.

There were also quite a few words and phrases that I couldn't find in any dictionary, so some of this translation is strictly a figment of my own imagination. So if you or anyone you know has accuracy tips, please share.

1 comment:

kojaxs said...

Burberry is a fashion brand that, like all fashion brands, has a following in Japan. I posted my version on my blog for your edification.